Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Dug out...

...from an old email, a break from specific things that piss me off....what pisses you off?

Britain...

Only in Britain... can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

Only in Britain... do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only in Britain... do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

Only in Britain... do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counters.

Only in Britain... do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the drive and put our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.

Only in Britain... do we buy hot dogs in packs of ten and buns in packs of eight.

Only in Britain... are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.

3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.

142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new shirts.

58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of screwdrivers.

31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the fairy lights were plugged in.

19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas decorations were chocolate.

British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after cracker pulling accidents.

101 people since 1999 have had to have broken parts of plastic toys pulled out of the soles of their feet.

18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit cigarette in their mouth.

A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E in the last two years after opening bottles of beer with their teeth.

5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out of control Scalextric cars.

In 2000 eight Brits cracked their skull whilst throwing up into the toilet.


Thursday, March 08, 2007

grubby people...

So, in a temporary change of tack, I've been asked to post the following, which has apparently been making it's way around the online marketing world today:

"Next year we'll reintroduce affiliate marketing but as it should be, as opposed to affiliates as they were" said Nick Robertson, ASOS CEO. "(There'll be) no silly commissions being paid to grubby little people in grubby studios growing income at our expense, getting in the way of genuine sales" - Nick Robertson, CEO of ASOS
 (printed in NMA, 08/03/2007)...

The opinion seems to be that this company are not only offending (and being quite rude!) the very people who helped this company grow to what it is today, but are shooting themselves in the feet for the future.  We know all publicity is good publicity, but there is some room in business for some basic respect for your partners still...isn't there?

Discuss.  We want <I>your</I> rants for a change!

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Valentines day....

So, Feb 14th is with us once again, a day which is worth something incredible like £2.5 billion...think of all those cards, and unnecessary gifts for a single day.

We're keen advocates of recycling, and believe one of the best ways to address this is to stop sending cards.  I'm sure that all the men out there would be keen supporters of this, but we have to keep the fairer sex happy, and they are completely sold on valentines day.  Sure, you will hear the 'let's not make a big deal', 'I don't want a card, it's just commercial' and all that, but sure enough, if you do not get her a card, and spend some money, she'll think you don't love her, you'll spend more time grovelling, sleeping in the dog house, being continually reminded of it for years to come yada yada yada.

It's a challenge to every man out there, let's stop this valentines crap, and spread the £2.5 billion to other places where it could be used more constructively.  Who needs to be told when to be romantic? If everyone that buys a valentines card needs a day to be romantic, then what is the rest of the year like?  There are children starving in this world, there are people sleeping outside in this crap weather, there are people suffering from diseases which cannot be cured.  Come on people, if even 1% donated their money to charity instead of buying cards, that could make a real difference to people all over the world, £25 million is a significant amount - imagine if 10% did it!  Of course, this is not the only benefit, imagine with all this money not being spent on cards, production would (eventually) need to be cut....leading to some environmental benefits as well.  This is a great idea, and I look forward to your comments.  Men, women, aliens, what do you think?

Also out in force today are the umbrella nazis - it's pissing it down out there, and people in London become even more slefish when they have an umbrella.  It is clearly not the umbrella owners responsibility to look out for other pedestrians, and if/when they take someones eye out it will clearly not be their problem.  Come on all inconsiderate people, take a minute to think about what you're doing, and other people!